literally all of my friends are annoying the shit out of me.

i am annoyed with dana because she is completely borderline and doesn't care about anyone but herself.  we can have entire phone conversations where she does not ask me once how i am or even give me the chance to talk.  she only calls me when she wants something or wants to talk about herself.

i am annoyed with ann because she is up her boyfriend's ass.  because obviously it is perfectly normal for someone you have been dating for a year and a half and picking out engagement rings with to drop you off at your curb after a fight and not call you for four months while you have a complete meltdown and put yourself back on your meds.  and when he does decide to call you back, you put him on "probation" by sleeping with him right away.

i am annoyed with krystle because she never stops talking about herself.  EVER.

i am annoyed with mary beth because she tells me about her plans and then doesn't invite me.

i am annoyed with claire because no matter what, she always wins.  she got the legit tattoo that healed properly and her mom didn't care.  i am currently hiding my tiny, lame tattoos (one of which looks like complete shit because it didn't heal properly) that my parents will surely kill me if they see.  i am annoyed that she always has a boyfriend even though she has the personality of a house plant.  i am annoyed that i talk to her once a week and see her maybe five times a year and yet she still annoys me.

i am not annoyed with maria for not inviting me to her wedding.  i am annoyed by how she thinks this means she can ignore me in public and block me on facebook.  i am annoyed that she invited erica to her wedding even though they weren't friends.

i am annoyed with carrie because she only calls me when she wants something.  i am annoyed with her because she is playing into the whole not inviting me to the wedding thing.  i am annoyed with her because she comes to my house when i invite her to dinner and doesn't bring anything.  instead, she makes requests about what i need to serve.  i am annoyed because she thinks she is better than everyone else because she got married, moved to east jesus nowhere and had a kid with big ears.

i am annoyed with margret because she puts absolutely no effort into our friendship.  she can't even send me a message saying happy birthday even though i have the easiest birthday to remember.